Recently in the media, there's been a huge uproar about Summer Walker & her being open about her social anxiety. As soon as I saw Summer be open + honest, I knew immediately she was going to be attacked.
Why is this though? Well in general, society treats mental health as if it's no big deal, but being a BLACK GIRL & being honest about your personal struggles? Oh, all hell immediately breaks loose.
Being a fan of Summer Walker before she was the sensation she is now, I could always tell that she was a shy girl. I could tell she was different from what the industry was used to seeing. I wondered to myself, "is she really one for the spotlight?" Not saying she doesn't deserve the success she has today, because sis has an amazing voice + talent, but I know how mean society can be & the high ass standards they put on celebrities.
However, being shy is not equivalent to having social anxiety, & it seems like a lot of people have it confused. Finding myself trying to explain to ignorant ass people the difference was exhausting, because these people didn't even care enough to look into the true definition of social anxiety & how it shows up differently in different people. All these individuals wanted to do was be judgemental & apparently, be uninformed.
**please, I BEG OF YOU, if you have little to no knowledge on mental health/mental illnesses, educate yourself .. especially if you're going to decide to open your mouth about it**
We need to get rid of the stigma of what is takes to be a celebrity. Not everyone wants to be entertainers like Beyonce, Chris Brown, or Cardi B. Some artists (such as Summer Walker, SZA, Frank Ocean) just want to be artists & share their craft without all the extra. & honestly, what is so wrong with that? Why is it a crime? Not every celebrity is extraverted & social. & that is okay. Well, at least it should be. & I believe Summer deserves credit for at least TRYING. Where is the empathy & compassion???
Back to the basis of this blog post, Black girls + mental health.
Summer Walker is a PERFECT example of how Black girls who have mental health issues are treated, but let's dig a bit deeper & be more general. Anxiety (a bit different than social anxiety, please keep in mind that there are multiple kinds of anxiety) is very common among Black girls & according to research, more chronic + more intense symptoms than white women. What makes mental illnesses worse for Black girls is how they are perceived + treated in this fucked up society we live in. The 3 main ways Black girls are perceived:
1) The Strong Black Woman
2) The Angry Black Woman
3) The Hoe/Video Vixen
One of the most common things Black girls are known best for is being strong. Most of us label our mamas, our grandmamas, our aunties, & other pioneering Black women, a strong Black woman. As much as this is true & is a good thing, it can be very detrimental to a Black girl's mental health as well. The minute a Black girl shows an ounce of vulnerability or sensitivity, we're immediately told to brush it off because we're "strong". Black women are the glue of our community, but we need a break sometimes to be able to truly feel our feelings & be human instead of superwoman. We can never let our guard down without being ridiculed, which leads me to the next perception ... the angry Black woman.
The MOST common label for Black girls. Research shows that most Black women that get this label slapped on them usually have anxiety. Even if we were angry (in which we have multiple damn good reasons to be) does anyone stop to think to themselves WHY this may be? As Malcolm X once said:
"The most disrespected person in America is the black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the black woman. The most neglected person in America is the black woman."
This quote was stated over 60 years ago, but it still reigns true to this day. Think about it, how many of us were raised by single Black mothers? How many of us seen them struggle? How many of us saw our Black mother, sisters, aunties get disrespected? How many of us know a Black girl who has been raped & silenced? How many Black girls over the country are missing? How many Black women are being killed for simply being a woman + Black? We have more than enough reasons to be angry, but the truth is, we're on edge.
We're tired of being disrespected.
We're tired of not being enough for our own men who we fight with our lives for.
We're tired of our feelings being neglected.
We're tired of feeling unsafe.
We're tired of our shit being stolen + glorified because their skin is lighter & their hair is silky.
We're fucking tired.
& we're anxious in different forms.
Our so called "anger" is a cry to be seen & to be heard.
Last, but not anywhere near least, the hoe/video vixen. Black women + Black girls have a long history of being overly sexualized. Since slavery, Black women have been sexualized in demeaning ways. What originally started off as white men overly sexualixing Black women, turned into our own Black men as well. Since the beginning stages of hip-hop & rap, Black women have been used as sexual objects. But now it's such an issue that we've decided to take back ownership of our sexuality? Hmm ..
Anyway, even little Black girls aren't allowed to be little girls. A recent study shows that little Black girls are viewed "less innocent" than little white girls in the eyes of adults; being adultified, sexualixed, & deemed overly aggressive. How many of us growing up were called "fast" or even our cousins or sisters were before we even made it to middle school? How many of us were raped/molested/sexually abused in our adolescent years because men viewed us as promiscuous? & how many of us have since then developed a severe case of anxiety + trust issues + PTSD???
If you're not a Black girl & you're finding this hard to be true, ask the Black girls in your lives. The story is disturbingly much more common than you think. & what's even more disturbing is that these stories are rarely believed & swept under the rug.
Many Black women are walking around with anxiety, depression, & PTSD that started forming in the early stages of childhood. To make it worse, many Black families don't believe in mental illnesses, but instead believe "it ain't nothing but the devil". Or they assume our lives haven't been hard enough. What a sad fucking reality ...
It's time for society to start listening to Black girls.
It's time for society to start protecting Black girls.
It's time for society to start acknowledging Black girls.
Let Black girls be vulnerable.
Let Black girls be sensitive.
Let Black girls BE.
Many people have bad things to say about our generation, but one thing you can't take from us is that we're innovative & rebellious as fuck. I salute & stand by Summer Walker for standing up & speaking her truth despite all the stupid ass shit she knew that society would say. Every day, we have more & more Black girls across the globe advocate for mental health, & so many people hate to see it.
This article is dedicated to every & any Black girl + woman that has been silenced when speaking their truth. This article is dedicated to every Black girl + woman that is scared to speak up, in hopes that this will spark that internal flame. Ain't nothing wrong with us, it's society that's fucked up .. it's society that lacks empathy, compassion, & the ability to love us.
To be Black & to be woman ... a bittersweet thing.
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